every parent should hear……

1. You are a hero for your kids. You are. You’re a go-the-distance, fight-the-dragon, face-the-challenges hero for your kids. Taking a beating makes that more true. Not less.

2. We all struggle. Every parent. Everywhere. We all second-guess ourselves. And we all want to quit sometimes. Hold the good times close, and when things are tough, remember, “this, too, shall pass.”

3. Finding the funny may not save your soul, but it will save your sanity. Or maybe it’s the other way around. Either way, look for the humor and embrace the crazy. Laughter is a lifeline.

4. Every day, you will feel like you have mishandled something. Like you’ve been impatient. Like you’ve misjudged. Like you’ve been too harsh. Like you’ve been too lenient. You may be right. Apologize if you need to and then, whatever. Seriously. Just whatever. Let it go.

5. The crazy, the crying, the cuddles. The screaming, the sacred, the scared. The minutes, the magic, the mess. It’s all part of it. And it’s all worth it.

6. Family is the best. Even when it’s not perfect. And it’s never perfect. Ever.

7. At the end of organization, at the end of patience, at the end of perfection, we die to ourselves. And then love rises from the ashes. It sucks. And then it gets better. And then it sucks again. Still, love rises.

8. You will never regret parenting. Except for the teeny, tiny tons of times when you secretly wonder if you maybe regret it just a little. But, overall, never. And overall is what counts in the end.

9. Parenting is like climbing the big mountain. Look for the base camp. That’s where you rest, meet other climbers, take in oxygen and acclimatize. Base camp is what makes summiting possible.

10. You are not alone in this strange, vast, parenting ocean. Even in the dark of night. You are not alone. You’re not.

11. Kids know the way to magical and they’ll give you a free pass to come along. Breathe in the magic as long as you can, because that same kid is going to poop his pants in just a minute.

12. There’s a very fine line between enjoying the chaos and barely surviving. Actually, there’s no line at all. It’s all mixed up together. That “fine line” thing is a lie.

13. If you pay attention, kids will teach you how to laugh loudly, how to love deeply and how to live fully. They will also ruin all your stuff.

14. Any number of kids is a lot of kids.

15. Look for joy. You’ll find it in the middle of the busy. Or under the ridiculous. Or hanging from the overwhelmed in its underpants. Joy’s like that. It’s in the middle of everything. It’s completely unpredictable. And it will surprise you when you’re not expecting it. Like vomit and diarrhea, except good.

16. You will fall apart and do it all wrong. Forgive yourself. Ask your kids to forgive you. Set an example of resilient fallibility. Set an example of practicing the art of love — both loving yourself and loving others. No one does this parenting gig right the first time. Or the last time. Or the times in between. Showing your kids how to keep going after getting it wrong is a wonderful gift to give them.

17. Kids are difficult, gross, confusing and awesome. So are you.

18. Parenting will bring you face-to-face with yourself. It may be terrifying. It may break you. But it will also rebuild you, and you will be stronger than you ever thought possible.

19. Balance is a myth. Parenting isn’t a tight-rope walk; it’s a dance. Strive for rhythm instead of balance, and trust yourself to move to the ever-changing beat.

20. Yes, you will have days where you wonder where the hell the capable and organized you went. Yes, you will sit on the floor of the main aisle at Target by the check-out area with a child who is thrashing, screaming and calling you names. Yes, you will have to tell your child that the dog is not a napkin and to put down the urinal cake. If you do not do all those things literally, then you will do them figuratively. And yes, you will also hold that child and rock back and forth and tell him you love him and tell him he’s safe and tell him you’re not leaving even though he will someday leave you. This is parenting. It is tragic and triumphant. Messy and magical. Sacred and spectacular. And it is, always, fiercely worthwhile. {huffingtonpost.com}

classy and fabulous…..CoCo

i found myself quoting that to the girls a couple of days ago out of the blue. Mikayla agreed 100%. Katie said she would rather just be fabulous. i take what i can get. but these little girls, on the other hand, were both, and i couldn’t help but share this session on the blog today.

one thing i love about photographing kids, is that they always give you what is real. that may not be a smiling expression. it may be pensive…it may be filled with emotion. that is just the good stuff. eventually, little ones will warm up to the camera and give the smiles, but the initial stuff is what is meaningful and honest. when new photographers message me and ask for advise on shooting children, i always say…capture them as they are. you don’t need a prop. you don’t need a ridiculous bow or a funny hat (although those can be fun too!)….they will give you all you need.

sugar and spice….and all that great stuff!

:william.michael:

arrived 3.26.12: 3:30pm: 7lbs: 20 inches

“Nobody will ever know the strength of my love for you.
After all,
You’re the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside.”

i have floundered on how to execute, into words, the last 4 months of my life. i share a lot on my blog. and i felt like not sharing this was somehow leaving a truth untold….a profound experience kept secret. and that just isn’t like me. but i did it. mostly for my own protection if for nothing else.

hi. my name is amanda. i am 31 years old. i am pregnant.

surprise!

(it was for me too)

i see a lot of babies. a lot of soon to be moms and couples. most of them are my brides from years past. and i look, in wonder, at evolving families….loving families, every.single.day.  it is, hands down, the best part of my job.

and i’d be lying if i didn’t say that every time i saw a newborn i didn’t get that pang, that ache, to have another one. but then i would remember what we went through to get our own sweet (super amazing…not an exaggeration) little girls, and how happy i was to have them, and how great the business was going, and how i was in my 30′s now, and how our little house was perfect for our little family (in fact, the two cats made it feel crowded), and how, selfishly, i loved sleep. i mean, i really love it.

i had gone back and forth for years about trying for another. the first year we moved into the house, when Katie was 2, we tried and were successful on the first month, only to have it end in an early miscarriage (talked about here in this post). and with our twin loss (talked about here) before Katie, i just didn’t feel like i could bring myself to go through this again.

plus. i’m not a big fan of pregnancy in general. don’t get me wrong…its beautiful on other people, and as a photographer i am in awe of the human body during this time…my clients simply glow with their perfect bellies.  i just never feel…i don’t know…glow-y. my belly isn’t perfectly round. its like i have speed bump where my upper abs are separating, and then another bump where the baby is. i don’t feel like myself. i’m sick…not just in the morning, not just at night, but like…24 hours, head in the toilet, sick. oh, and those women who don’t start showing until they are 20 weeks…that isn’t me. i show as soon as the other line pops up on the pregnancy test. my average pregnancy weight gain between the two girls….75 lbs. (i know…i could have laid off the pint of ice cream every other night, but why?)

so, we decided we were done completely with having babies in  early July.

then.

20 days later.

life decided otherwise.

and it was like that scene from the movie Parenthood (great movie, by the way), when Karen (Mary Steenburgen) tells Gil (Steve Martin) she expecting their forth child. yeah,  Parenthood seems to sum up so much of my life in general…but that moment in particular sticks out. and, no, it wasn’t jump up for joy excitement in the first seconds, minutes…days…. but it came.

i am completely blessed to be pregnant again.

and this pregnancy has been blissful compared to the others. while queezy constantly for the first 12 weeks, it wasn’t unbearable. i’m still fitting into my regular jeans ( i can’t button them, but they still fit, so that counts, right?). i have never, ever, felt so proud of my belly. its still not perfect, and i am pretty sure i am measuring about 4 weeks ahead of my true dates, but nothing makes me happier than when the girls say goodnight to the baby by kissing it gently through my belly.

being 31 and pregnant, even unexpectly, was perfect timing.

and, i always preferred the roller coaster over the carrousel anyway.

i just love this time of year…finally, getting into the summer and all of the excitement of weddings and meeting with my brides for this season and next for engagement sessions. Kate and Jason found this amazing treasure of a location…Willowbrook Village, a 19th century historic plantation set in Newfield, Maine. i am always taken to beautiful places when i travel, but this really was a dream location for me, complete with carousel. i just cannot wait for their wedding coming up this October!

daily mantra: give all to love; obey thy heart…emerson.