“Piglet: Winnie, how do you spell love?
Winnie: You don’t spell love, Piglet. You feel it.”

{winnie.the.pooh}

dear photo family…

i will be spending the next 3 days (july 2nd, 3rd, and 4th) away from the computer to observe the passing of my grandfather, who moved on spiritually this last week.

i will return to regular email and computer duties on the 5th of July.

xoxox, amanda.

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

{e.e.cummings}

“if the eye does not want to see, neither light nor glasses will help”

{german.proverb}

well Super Cat now has some SUPER vision thanks to her new glasses and the help of the the great people and doctors at Mountain View EyeCare. of course, true to Katie form, she HAD to pick them out herself…which I am glad she did, because the ones i picked for her were kind of boring {blue is also her favorite color…at least this week}.  hopefully she won’t go trying to fly off any more couches (see scar underneath chin for said evidence of Super Cat’s flying adventures) and brake them.

love always. me.

…

it’s not what you wear that is important to your session….it’s not your shoes….your make up. it’s you. fabulous, wonderful, perfect in non-perfect form…you.

that is expecting a lot though, isn’t it? being you?

i find children facinating because they are comfortable in their own self. that is what led me most to photographing children. their honesty. if they are sad, you know. if they are happy, you know. if they want a piece of cake, you know.

i know i ask a lot of adults when they come to me and i tell them to show their love in front of the camera. it IS difficult to forget those inhibitions that are painted on like layers as we move through our lives. i have them too. actually, i have them all. haha.

but maybe, just maybe, if you know what inspires me most in the whole wide world is YOU, that will make it a bit easier.

{and yes, if being you is wearing your old pair of roller skates and barreling through the Old Port, that is completely okay}

***

and this is good stuff…you should watch it.

sunset street was on sunrise terrace. it really was the best place in town to see the sunset too, or the sunrise, and the Maine State Prison.  the subdivision had blossomed with young, hardworking married couples in the 1970’s, and soon there were sprouts of little people all around the same age. we went to school together, played, and grew up at the same time. grandpa would always talk about how he would love to have more privacy, but i have to say from a kid’s point of view, privacy is over-rated…especially when trying to get together a solid game of baseball in the back yard, or even some jump rope in the street that was shaded by the big red maple trees in front of my house.

yesterday, while walking through our own little subdivision, almost a replica of the one i grew up in, i could smell the Maine mud thawing  from the winter freeze. this was my favorite time of year growing up on sunset street….when the days started getting longer and we could all play outside until the sun ducked behind the ocean, and without fear of the teeth chattering bitter cold of New England winds. our parents would congregate in the front yards to watch us play, talk about the Red Sox, or the drama of small town politics and the high school softball season. this was the prelude to endless summer fun, because when you are 8 or 9 years old summers are separate years all in themselves. We would lay in the freshly cut grass, barefoot {or with our new jelly shoes} and look up at the sky and dream about being adults, in an adult world, or playing in the sprinkler in the afternoon when it got too hot to do much else other than that and eat Popsicles on the porch. life was perfectly imperfect.

its funny that something like mud can remind you to stop and smell the flowers while they are blooming, huh?

all my love darlings,

p.s. daily mantra: “if you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought”….peace.pilgrim

daily.mantra:
there is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt….{erma.bombeck}

daily.manta: our task is to say a holy yes to the real things in our life….{natalie.goldberg}

Why Dream?

Life is a difficult assignment. We are fragile creatures, expected to function at high rates of speed, and asked to accomplish great and small things each day. These daily activities take enormous amounts of energy. Most things are out of our control. We are surrounded by danger, frustration, grief, and insanity as well as love, hope, ecstasy, and wonder. Being fully human is an exercise in humility, suffering, grace, and great humor. Things and people all around us die, get broken, or are lost. There is no safety or guarantees.

The way to accomplish the assignment of truly living is to engage fully, richly, and deeply in the living of your dreams. We are made to dream and to live those dreams.

{susan.ariel.rainbow.kennedy}

“i feel wonderful because i see the

the love light in your eyes.

and the wonder of it all

is that you just don’t realize how much i love you.”

{eric.clapton}

{a.weekend.conversation}

katie: mom, don’t step there!

mom: step where!?

katie: on that little treasure!

mom lifts the edge of flip flop just in time…

mom: it’s just a pine cone, K…we have tons of them…

katie: well, it’s the only one like that.

mom’s heart gets all gushy and emotional inside, she promises cookies and a juice box, and a photo of  our new treasure.

{we have about 1,291 more in the back yard, but this really is the only one quite like this}

i am a wife first, a mom second, and a photographer third. to the everyday client, or  a top of their field business pro, this would seem like a bad thing to admit. luckily, all of my clients are extraordinary, and they get it. reality is….well, it just is. and lately, maybe i have been missing that. my career is certainly important, but most days i wake up every day to the pitter patter of tiny feet against my hardwood floors, and i am nothing more than your run of the mill, traditional, stay at home mom and wife.

i have done a lot of “jobs” in my search for the divine epiphany of life long fulfillment and satisfaction when it comes to a career. i worked as a bagger at supermarket (who hasn’t right?), i have worked in a convenient store/pizza place/ place to get beer at 11:00am on the way home from clamming the flats, i have landscaped and tended plants, i have raked blueberries and trimmed trees, i have telemarketted for a once fortune 500 company (i was shockingly good at this), i have been a jeweler, i have been an internet support technician, i have sold cell phone plans…i have sold just about everything but houses actually,  and when my husband became a computer technician for a small town, i found myself, for the very first time since i was 15 years old, without an actual “job”….and i became a stay at home mom.

now…as you might imagine, being a mom is riveting, edge of your seat excitement on a moment to moment basis. right. actually…not so much. excuse my honesty for a moment, but the every day monotony of housework and child conversation can swallow you until you find yourself, one fine day, talking to the postman in 3 year old jargon when asking for a stamp to mail  your electric bill. (luckily, my postman understands baby talk, but you get the point).  i get up every day, not as a photographer, but as a mom. and its not glamorous, and my house isn’t always clean like i wish it was, and some days, i don’t wash the floor on my hands and knees (okay, i never do this….but in case my grandma was listening from heaven…i had to say that i DO), and sometimes giving the kids a bath can only be compared to running a marathon when you haven’t carb loaded, and you stayed up too late the day before.

but the truth is…the every day…is good. it’s REALLLLY good. ridiculously delicious even. and when the pitter patter of little feet run by my bedroom door WAY too early in the morning (helloooo, when do kids start sleeping in???), i should be nothing but thankful and full of…well, pure, uninhibitted joy. because i have it all…great little girls, a super sweet hubby, amazing friends near and far, a somewhat (cough) clean house, and i have the ‘every day’ life…the clothes hanging on the line outside, the cookouts, the flu seasons, the car pool to school, the pick up the dry cleaning, the drama free and relaxing nights at home…a completely thrilling every day life….

and a dishwasher. i also have that.

Daily Mantra: “joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are….” {marianne williamson}