February will be our last month as “us”. “us” meaning just the 2 of you, meaning ‘just us girls’, meaning the tight family of 4 that we have been for almost 6 years. it is the last month of uninterrupted nights, the last month where we don’t have to worry about 2-4 hour feeding schedules and nap times, and diaper changes. in March, we will become a family of 5. this unexpected, unplanned addition of your little brother will make our house seem smaller, our car  too cramped, our lives more hectic, our sleep less slept, our laundry pile significantly larger (how can that even be??), and our hearts….infinitely bigger.

i worry as a mom. i worry that our little pact of ‘the Burse Girls Club’ might disconnect some…after all, we have all done a lot of growing up together over the last (gulp) 9 years. hard to say who has grown up more….i think it might be me. i told myself from the beginning of my pregnancy that we (or i) would be ready for him when he came, but i must have been fooling myself. have i learned nothing as a mother?  you are never really ready for anything as a parent.

you just fake it with love and hope you won’t need to call in mental health reinforcements, or an ambulance in the end.

i wasn’t ready for 2, but after a year of ‘adjustment’ (adjustment = failing miserably, falling flat on my face more than i care to admit even to myself, and giving up on sanity in general) i felt more fortunate every day to have the two most loving little girls. you guys have made me appear to others like i knew what i was doing with this whole parenting thing. when…..i don’t. at all.not even a little.

i just got lucky.

so, with all this worry, i decided to take on a project for a month to capture “us” as we are now. just the every day stuff mostly…’come as you are’ style. because i know “us” will change with William’s arrival.

for the better. for the crazier. but it will change.

love always my darlings,

in this very digital age, it feels so good so give something real, something beautiful, and something you can actually hold in your hand as a document of your momentous, yet very short day (just a day…does it seem fair that a wedding is just ONE day after all of the planning and love that goes into it!).

these boxes, wrapped in fine linens or imported silk,  remind me of my grandmother’s paper mache box that was tucked in the back shelf of her closet. it was filled with her most treasured mementos. wedding photographs, dress lace, a curl of my fathers black baby hair in a time stained envelope, my grandfather’s World War II medals….handkerchiefs. i would go through them with my little fingers….and she would smile as she told the story of each one.

and another goody came in today….and i keep taking back out of the box to look at it….

i just LOVE this storyboard I designed for Natacha and Chris (and their sweet pup). printed on linen based Fuji paper, backed with a sturdy core, and then finished with a protective spray,  this 16 x 24 print will last for 100 years (or more!).

be silly, be kind, be honest….emerson.

a had a vision…of a photo…with my children in it. photo above…yea…that’s not my vision.

i have seen these sunflowers for weeks at the grocery store, and have passed by them with no clear idea of what i would do with them if i bought them. most people buy flowers just to by them, but to spend $14.99 on a prop that will die in 3 days, i need to have picture in my head and a clear procedure for execution of said picture. yesterday, i had my vision. it was going to be beautiful. it was going to be 4′ x 6′ canvas worthy. i was going to take this perfect photo, with my perfect kids, with these perfect sunflowers, at exactly the right moment. i was going to nail my exposure, and i would press the button, and angels would sing. i would run home, post process my photo, and send it right to the canvas company. it would arrive several weeks later, to be ever-lasting art on my wall, and people would gasp upon entering my living room and say that it was the perfect photo, and i have the perfect children, and again….angels.

…so…that didn’t happen…

did you know that sunflowers are tools of weaponry? they are. ask my kids.

and you know what…it was still a perfect night, the sunflowers (modern day malice’s of defeat) were perfect in the golden hue of the evening, and my kids…well, they WERE themselves…perfectly.

angels didn’t sing, but i bet they laughed.

at me AND the kids.

as mom’s (and dad’s) we all want the day we have our family pictures done to be almost above perfect. and we want the kids to be perfect in dress and in disposition.

and they will be. they will be themselves, and that is what is GREAT. because while adults can fake a good day and smile on command, a child will give you, almost 100% of the time, what is real. and while this is difficult for us as adults and parents to embrace, isn’t that just brilliant? to be genuine ALL the time. and more than anything, even though i can see mom’s biting their nails and dads looking at mom’s biting their nails in semi-supportive panic, this is WHY i love working with children so much. weddings are filled with drama (oh and i love it) and fairytale like moments (also, love….i AM a girl after all), but kids have this ability to let us be part of not only a true and completely authentic moment, but to let us see ourselves in a similar light.

having a bad day, show it. having a great day, show it. feeling like a hug? hug someone. feel like dancing, singing, crying, laughing, driving your mom to boarder line insanity….DONE.

that perfect moment i was waiting for…it happened.

and i was there.

nothing in the world is sweeter than a summer night in Maine. a yellow-red magic marker sky, air heavy as if it is carrying pockets of water, and staying out past your bedtime because your parents are on the back deck talking and having a good time too…you just might be lucky enough that they forget all together and you and your dirty feet will get to crawl into the clean, crisp, line-hung sheets smelling like the sun and tall grass you played in all day. that is how i felt going out to shoot this session with Ava and Ben…an incredibly hot evening, with a light breeze for intermittent relief…but also one filled with adventure and fun, and where all things found are amazing and new.

i always try to tell clients about the BEST time to shoot during the day. this twilight time is by fair the best and provides a softness and a rich depth of color. however, i know that not all kiddos are up for an evening session. some little ones are just in better spirits in the morning. if your kids can make it into the later part of the day though, it does produce amazing warm photographs.

none of the photos i planned today for them turned out the way i had planned. none. not for the whole week. not one…single…photo. i had lots in mind. this evening i stooped to bribery (i’m not above a good bribe, folks…you get what you give in this life).

i am eating dinner.

katie: “can we jump on your bed?”

mommy: “no…hmm…yes. get your sister.”

{mikki comes stage front.katie stands behind her…}

mommy: “you can my jump. the deal? i get a photo. my dream photo. just one. can you deliver?”

mikki: eyebrow raising…”deal…”

mommy: “can she?” i point my forehead at the youngest Blondie in the room.

mikki: “yup. deal.” {such a shrewd business woman even at the tender age of 8}

the “L” in deal fades off, and i can tell she is already scheming that if the Easter Bunny doesn’t come through with the goods this picture is a wasted effort on her part. Katie is laughing on nievely unaware of such business trades and favors.

they jump. i finish dinner. i prep the camera. i show them…visually my vision. (visual vision…redundant but important in these times of desperate mother-photographer pose endeavors.

as we walk to the field i think…yes…this is the one that will make the living room wall. i am hopeful.

and in my head i am already telling my mom about the ‘best photo ever’ of my babies. i am gloating at their pose and perfect behavoir, their emotive souls, their perfection in the moment….

i pull about my camera. we review the pose.

the dance. they twirl. they talk about Narnia and the snow in the corner of the field and if the fish are in the stream yet and if mermaids are real. they contemplate God {because we can’t see God, but people still talk about him like he’s real, but what about mermaids…we can’t see them either…}

they laugh. i get this.

nothing like i had planned or visioned.

most days, every day really, my unplanned is just…

better.

daily mantra: there are four questions of value in life…what is sacred? of what is the spirit made? what is worth living for, and what is worth dying for? the answer to each is the same. only love. {johnny.depp}

DETAILS

the who: This discount is for family, children, and baby sessions only.

the cost: The cost for a session is $125.00. Book any time between now and the 18th of February, and receive a 25% discount on prints, and a 10% discount on products (albums, collections, digital sets). The session MUST be booked and PAID for by the 18th of February.

OH it gets BETTER (yayyyy!!!!): If you refer a friend (0r choose to book TWO sessions in 2011), and they (or you) also book and PAY for their session fee on or before February 18th, you AND your friend receive 50% off prints, and a 15% discount on products!!!

Even Better (still more!!): Anyone who spends $1,000 or more per session will receive a complete set of full size, full resolution, full awesomeness digital files, with printing rights, with a custom cd, as well as suggestions on where to get the BEST printing.

THE NOT SO FINE PRINT: Sessions can be booked any time in 2011, but the session fee  MUST be received by February 18th, 2011 to hold your place, and to hold your very special deal. There will be absolutely NO MORE sales this year, so this is your one and only chance to get this discount. Travel fee’s will be assessed to anyone outside the state of Maine. PLEASE READ THIS PART: There is a $300.00 MINIMUM print order required for these sessions. (but you get a LOT of great stuff for that!!!)

20 x 24….regular price: $400…. sale price….$300

20×30….regular price: $500…. sale price….$350

24×30….regular price: $600…. sale price….$400

30×40….regular price: $700… sale price….$425

36×48….regular price: $850… sale price….$500

40×60….regular price: $1000… sale price….$650

SALE ENDS: January 21st, 2011!!!

daily mantra: there’s a lot of things you should make back up plans for, but love isn’t one of them…{stan.smith…the.american.dad}

love always. me.

…

it’s not what you wear that is important to your session….it’s not your shoes….your make up. it’s you. fabulous, wonderful, perfect in non-perfect form…you.

that is expecting a lot though, isn’t it? being you?

i find children facinating because they are comfortable in their own self. that is what led me most to photographing children. their honesty. if they are sad, you know. if they are happy, you know. if they want a piece of cake, you know.

i know i ask a lot of adults when they come to me and i tell them to show their love in front of the camera. it IS difficult to forget those inhibitions that are painted on like layers as we move through our lives. i have them too. actually, i have them all. haha.

but maybe, just maybe, if you know what inspires me most in the whole wide world is YOU, that will make it a bit easier.

{and yes, if being you is wearing your old pair of roller skates and barreling through the Old Port, that is completely okay}

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and this is good stuff…you should watch it.