every year, i redo my brochures to feature new work. for the every day person, who doesn’t like paper, textures, pictures, ribbons, tissue paper, string…this would be an easy task. many are ordered. many hit the trash can or are used by the girls in their many art projects. i want to feel good handing things out…i want it to be different and not cookie cutter….i want every packet i send to be a reflection of my clients, but also share a piece of myself.

so finally…..its done. (insert exuberant sigh of relief here….)

dear Mikki and Katie…

i am ever so close to having your baby brother (i hope it happens today, after i wash the kitchen floor). ever since i found out i was having a boy, a lot of people have had a variety of comments…all well meaning…

…finally, a boy!

…it’s about time!

…now you can be done, huh?!

…they pee up in the air, you know.

…you must be SO happy now that you are having a boy.

…it must be nice to buy blue for a change?!

like i said, all well meaning and harmless comments. most of the time i say, yes, or yup, or smile.

tuesday i was in the doctors office and admiring the fresh baby girl being passed around by all of the nurses in the office. the first time dad was beaming with an other-worldly glow that i believe is only possible after truly and completely loving something more than yourself, and a serious lack of sleep.

“what are you having?” he asked.

“a boy, but i have 2 girls, so i know what this is like too.” i said, not taking my eyes off his little pink bundle of perfection.

“ahhh…finally, huh?”

instead of my usual comment wrapped in social acceptance….”my girls are the most amazing people i know. completely. it would have been a blessing to have another, really.”

he nodded with a smile, and i knew as he passed his seemingly mammoth hand over his little girl’s full head of ebony hair that he knew exactly what i meant.

i think, if i had to sum up being a mom to a girl so far, i would say it is like looking into one of those squiggly, distortion mirrors at the circus while ice skating. a crooked reflection of your own childhood melting with your own insecurities, your own expectations, and your own twisted fairy tales…sugar coated with humor and those snapshot moments where you sound exactly like your mother (which you said you never would).

9 years ago (yes, 9 years, almost to the day), i gave birth to a little girl who i only WISH i was…with a soul i only wish i had. (not an exaggeration, Mikayla…ask anyone). i had a lot of crazy ideals about motherhood before i was actually a mother (isn’t that always the way)…but as it turns out, it’s better. it’s better than anything i had imagined it would be. and when i did it 3.5 years later, it only got more exciting and our family is now like that lumpy can of multicolored, accidentally synthesized Play-dough on the shelf in your room.

now, don’t get me wrong, i expect only similar brilliance from your brother. but i know in my heart too, that being a mom to you two will always transcend into different realms. and, yes, there will be plenty of times when we all want to pull our hair out, plenty of failures on my part, plenty of shortfalls. i’m not naive to the wicked blessings of adolescent years. i was, after all, a teenager once.

but in the space between, there is and always will be, love.

all my love darlings,

p.s.

Would you look at her
She looks at me
She’s got me thinking about her constantly
But she don’t know how I feel
And as she carries on without a doubt
I wonder if she’s figured out
I’m crazy for this girl

evan.and.jaron “crazy for this girl”

p.p.s. shopping for a boy, or ‘blue’, has been completely unsatisfying. girls get to wear so many more cool things!

i couldn’t help but share Violet’s custom cd package. i always try to individualize each product for each customer, and these little, handmade cd cases just seemed so right for her. feminine and functional all at the same time! as a gift, i added a mini folio, wrapped in silk purple fabric and filled with pictures of this sweet little one…a keepsake of her earliest days.

its all about babies these days…and that is 110% okay with this photographer. it is such a treasure to photograph the babies of my wedding couples. little fingers, little toes, little nose…tiny Violet was such a beautiful, sleeping angel the entire session.

on a business note: i am taking a brief hiatus while we have our own little bundle (due any day now…ANY day…William, can you hear me? you can come out now). while i will not be taking the traditional maternity leave, please give a bit more time for me to respond to any electronic correspondence.