fail.

none of the photos i planned today for them turned out the way i had planned. none. not for the whole week. not one…single…photo. i had lots in mind. this evening i stooped to bribery (i’m not above a good bribe, folks…you get what you give in this life).

i am eating dinner.

katie: “can we jump on your bed?”

mommy: “no…hmm…yes. get your sister.”

{mikki comes stage front.katie stands behind her…}

mommy: “you can my jump. the deal? i get a photo. my dream photo. just one. can you deliver?”

mikki: eyebrow raising…”deal…”

mommy: “can she?” i point my forehead at the youngest Blondie in the room.

mikki: “yup. deal.” {such a shrewd business woman even at the tender age of 8}

the “L” in deal fades off, and i can tell she is already scheming that if the Easter Bunny doesn’t come through with the goods this picture is a wasted effort on her part. Katie is laughing on nievely unaware of such business trades and favors.

they jump. i finish dinner. i prep the camera. i show them…visually my vision. (visual vision…redundant but important in these times of desperate mother-photographer pose endeavors.

as we walk to the field i think…yes…this is the one that will make the living room wall. i am hopeful.

and in my head i am already telling my mom about the ‘best photo ever’ of my babies. i am gloating at their pose and perfect behavoir, their emotive souls, their perfection in the moment….

i pull about my camera. we review the pose.

the dance. they twirl. they talk about Narnia and the snow in the corner of the field and if the fish are in the stream yet and if mermaids are real. they contemplate God {because we can’t see God, but people still talk about him like he’s real, but what about mermaids…we can’t see them either…}

they laugh. i get this.

nothing like i had planned or visioned.

most days, every day really, my unplanned is just…

better.

daily mantra: there are four questions of value in life…what is sacred? of what is the spirit made? what is worth living for, and what is worth dying for? the answer to each is the same. only love. {johnny.depp}