{the.wednesday.whistle…on thursday}

dear Mikki and Katie….

for a long time, i thought that the coast of Maine is where i was born to live…there is something about the water that pulls me under and it always made me feel a profound sense of peace and comfort. now that i have been gone from my little home town over 10 years, when i go back, it feels like a pair of jeans that i have gotten to fat for. {that wasn’t pretty…but it is exactly how i feel} while i love it with all my heart, and love going back, it isn’t my definition of “home” any longer. i first came to this realization about three years ago. i was walking down the Main Street, Katie propped on my hip, Mikki at my side, and i kept trying to feel the sense of belonging that i had all those years ago. i tried to force the memories i had, some good and some bad, to bring me back to the idealized perception of belonging that i had wanted to rush over me. it didn’t happen. i remember feeling a void driving back to Rumford; an empty sadness.

when i unloaded you two from the car, Daddy was already home and greeted us in the driveway with kisses and hugs and smiles. inside the house, i set down my bags on the kitchen table and released a long breath of relief {partly because no one had gotten car sick on the way home….a rarity}.  in that moment of gratification, i realized that i was ‘home’…in Rumford…with you guys. somehow, inbetween leaving the coast in my adolescence and my late 20′s, i had built home up to be some physical place where i thought i fit in. but really, my ultimate feeling of comfort and ‘home’ came from our little family and the love we share together.

all my love darlings,

p.s….i know its Thursday…and this is the wednesday whistle, but it still counts, right?

p.p.s: daily mantra: “i have no special talents…i am only passionately curious.” {albert.einstein}