i could photograph newborn babies all day. there is something so completely special and unique about every, single one of them…and Ben is no exception. he is probably the most relaxed baby, and that personality shines through even when he isn’t sleeping.

daily mantra: “while we try and teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about.” {angela.schwindt}

have i mentioned today how much i my job….

dear Mikki and Katie…

so much of my life has been defined by a pair of thong flip flops and the mistakes i have made. at 21 years young, i walked into the post office in downtown bangor on a rainy afternoon, in my dark gray american eagle flip flops and too big for my head hoop earrings and signed up for a private post office box. this seemingly meaningless, mundane task to the clerk who handed me the keys (box #361) was perhaps the single most exciting, horrifying, and liberating moments in my adult life. i signed my name, amanda young, to the user agreement form. it seemed almost disingenuous to write it…as if i was signing away….a mistake. and as liberating as this one identifying millisecond of time was at my fingertips, it felt as though i was simultaneously penning three years of my life away.

my parents had pleaded with me, begged me, and even tried to bribe me to not get married. their fountain of marital mistakes, and a rather disheveled divorce later on, did not deter me on my walk down the isle. while they never embraced my obsession with wedded bliss in the sunset of my teen years, they did eventually surrender, and supported, if nothing else, my stubborn persistence to tie the knot with my high school boyfriend. i can say, with all honesty and the comfort of almost a decade of personal growth and arduous personal reflection since,  i knew that day in july 2000  that i was making a huge, life altering mistake. a little over a year later, i was in the middle of my own divorce…something i vowed i would never, ever, let happen to me.

and people will tell you that there are no mistakes in this journey of life. but there are. there are mistakes where you hurt people…not really on purpose, but because of single mindedness on your part that wasn’t really an accident because you knew, consciously, that you were doing it. there are definitely mistakes… minuscule ones, little ones, big ones, huge ones, gigantic ones….unforgettable ones. and while these typographical errors in your life story cannot be rewritten with white out and a fresh Sharpie Pen, they most often help you transcribe the next chapter, a better chapter, when the page turns.

and that day in the post office, in my $7.99 flip flops and torn in the right, back pocket jeans, was the first day i ever truly walked on my own. and it felt really….bitter sweet with a side of tornado.

all my love darlings,

p.s. no matter what mistakes…however big or however small…that you make in your life, you can always come home….

p.p.s…daily mantra: “and i don’t want the world to see me, ’cause i don’t think that they’d understand, when everything’s made to be broken, i just want you to know who i am.” {the.goo.goo.dolls}

daily mantra: “give me a man who is man enough to give himself just to the woman who is worth him. if i were that woman, i would love him alone and forever.” {francesca.bruni}

it was clear from the beginning of our session that Jack and Lisa hold such a special love between them. relaxed and comfortable, with humor on the side, this amazing couple is sure to make it through anything and everything life can hand to them on their journey together. Jack and Lisa will be marrying this July, and I am incredibly excited for their big day!

love….

dear Mikki and Katie….

for a long time, i thought that the coast of Maine is where i was born to live…there is something about the water that pulls me under and it always made me feel a profound sense of peace and comfort. now that i have been gone from my little home town over 10 years, when i go back, it feels like a pair of jeans that i have gotten to fat for. {that wasn’t pretty…but it is exactly how i feel} while i love it with all my heart, and love going back, it isn’t my definition of “home” any longer. i first came to this realization about three years ago. i was walking down the Main Street, Katie propped on my hip, Mikki at my side, and i kept trying to feel the sense of belonging that i had all those years ago. i tried to force the memories i had, some good and some bad, to bring me back to the idealized perception of belonging that i had wanted to rush over me. it didn’t happen. i remember feeling a void driving back to Rumford; an empty sadness.

when i unloaded you two from the car, Daddy was already home and greeted us in the driveway with kisses and hugs and smiles. inside the house, i set down my bags on the kitchen table and released a long breath of relief {partly because no one had gotten car sick on the way home….a rarity}.  in that moment of gratification, i realized that i was ‘home’…in Rumford…with you guys. somehow, inbetween leaving the coast in my adolescence and my late 20′s, i had built home up to be some physical place where i thought i fit in. but really, my ultimate feeling of comfort and ‘home’ came from our little family and the love we share together.

all my love darlings,

p.s….i know its Thursday…and this is the wednesday whistle, but it still counts, right?

p.p.s: daily mantra: “i have no special talents…i am only passionately curious.” {albert.einstein}

i spent a blissful Saturday morning meeting the darling Miss Maggie in out out of state session this weekend. everyone here knows just how much i adore little girls, and it was clear from the get go that she was just as perfect as they all are. despite the damp weather, we braved some outside fun in the family lobster boat, so reminiscent of childhood on the Maine coast.

however it became abundantly clear that this girl was after a different profession all together…look out photography world!

even her sad face is completely adorable…i couldn’t resist!

“there is nothing more relevant to your growth than learning what it means to honor your heart.” {unknown}