{the.wednesday.whistle}

dear Mikki and Katie…

i received this amazing care package from my high school girlfriend, Kristin, just this weekend. when i read the note, i puddled nostalgically. 10 years has passed since our close knit group graduated from high school and scattered to corners of the wind. there is something to be said about the people who watch you grow up and evolve into you. oh girls…there is truly nothing in this whole world that compares to the warmth of a handwritten note from a friend. i feel that the internet has spoiled a bit of the wonder for us, but also made them all the more precious.

in the package, she sent me a book. which, of course, you know i love. i love all books, but have a great appreciation and passion for books written for children. where can you get a life lesson in a few pages? even adults sometimes need to be reacquainted with moral guidance once in a while (or all the while), and you just aren’t going to get that from the latest nonfiction drama of an adult book. The Paper Bag Princess is priceless…a quick tale of a princess who did everything to outsmart the merciless dragon to save the prince she was supposed to wed. during the battle she lost her beautiful clothing, and perfectly straitened hair, only to be reduced to wearing a paper bag. but in losing the material (literally and figuratively), she found herself. also, she found out her prince was, and i quote, a “bum”. Kristin, you just get me like the Pandora music page…

and, as it turns out girls, this is going to be the topic of my Whistle this week. {Katie, stop rolling your eyes, you know i am long winded…}

don’t marry a “bum”….period. don’t even date one. don’t kiss one. don’t let one kiss you. save yourself some time and just…don’t.

before either one of you marries {which according to your father is when you are 35 going on never} mommy has words of advice…shocking, i know….

1. love yourself:

i always have kept this quote from May West in the back of my head…it’s silly but great all the same; “I don’t love myself, I’m crazy about myself.”  if there is anything i have learned in my 30 years on this planet it is that you can search the world looking for someone who is more worthy of your love and affection than you are yourself, and you will not find that human being anywhere.

2. recognize the power of love:

love is super, girls…unbelievable, exquisite, magical, delicious, and divine….but it is NOT a cure for all of your emotional hangups.

3. get {you} together:

the world owes you nothing. no one person owes YOU… not your boss, not your parents, not your partner. this is blunt, but nonetheless true. thinking that an individual owes you something will not create a lasting and loving relationship.

4. love unconditionally:

its the only love worth having.

5. ask for what you need:

your partner is not going to be mind-reader and neither are you; ask and you shall receive. however, be reasonable. {most of the time}

6. don’t overindulge in the negative:

we all get wrapped up sometimes in colorless contraries and negativity. my Grammy always said that negative people are unimaginative and i think this is right to some degree. sometimes, couples are forced to redefine their love. this can be scary, even when you have been with someone a long time. all i can say is that working together and being positive will lead you through to the other side of change.

7. don’t cast the first stone:

guess what? however perfect mommy thinks you are {wink} you arn’t. your partner won’t be either. people make mistakes. learn from them, and move on a little more wiser.

8.  compliment often and freely:

always.

9.  don’t let your fears control you:

fear is normal and understandable and real. don’t keep your fear a secret from your partner…two heads are better than one.

10. don’t marry, be with, be in a relationship with, co-habituate with, and/or kiss a bum:

i was 16 when my first love dumped me after a year of being together. my life was inevitably over…i moped around the house for weeks, cried myself to sleep, wrote depressing and awful love poetry, and basically was pathetically helpless in the drama of it all. as i was standing lethargically with the fridge open one morning before school, deciding which piece of pity pie to have next, Grandpa turned me around and grabbed my shrugging shoulders firmly, looked me strait in the eye and said…”Mand….he was a bum…move on”. now, he was probably trying to save himself at this point, but he was right. and although i am sure both my ex boyfriend and me were pretty immature at that point, he was a real jerk in general, especially towards the end. {where ever he is, i am sure that he has outgrown his ‘bum’ behavior…i hope}.

and finally….

11. always, always, always have a few really good, really true, really brave, really crazy, really smart at math, really fun, really loving, and really supportive GIRLFRIENDS…

oh you’re going to need them…and they will need you too. love is not for the faint at heart.

all my love darlings,

mommy

p.s: “one man all by himself is nothing. two people who belong together make a world.” {hans.margolius}