{the.wednesday.whistle}

dear mikki and katie…

i was thinking this week about reality. i always pegged myself as a strong believer and even a worshiper in the reality of life. the real emotions…good and bad; the real events…good and bad; the rain and the sunshine.

my grandmother always liked to spout off semi ridiculous words of wisdom in the car on the way to summer swimming lessons at Sandy Shores. i would be dressed in my red one piece suit, flip flops and towel, the seat belt rubbing against my shoulder, and smelling of the SPF 500 she rubbed over me twice before we left for the lake, and as we were driving down the road she would say something in the midst of a sigh like, “you have to have rain to enjoy the sunshine”. i was 6 and i think i remember rolling my eyes at her (not so she would see of course…never so she could see), but i believed her too.

well, i have decided that i am not a fan of reality after all. yes…i still like the “good stuff” about life…the really good stuff that happens when you know someone inside and out, like how they tie their shoes, or like their coffee, or how they try to hide when they are scared or tired or sad or lonely, and how you know how to comfort them because you just know. that is the good stuff. i still love and crave emotion from others…expect it even. i expect to not only see it, but capture it in my camera.

but what i have decided is that i no longer like sad movies, or the news. i was skimming through the endless array of tv channels on monday afternoon looking for a good movie, and opted to watch ella enchanted over of mice and men. it isn’t like i didn’t like that movie, in fact i love it, but i don’t want to delve into that sadness. i would much rather watch a fun hearted, silly movie, or even a down right ridiculous one, than one that makes me cry. and i used to watch CNN for hours a day thinking it would make me more informed and up to date…and now, i don’t even watch the today show in the morning. do i really need to know that teen pregnancy is at an all time high or that a random person won a million dollars in their local lottery? will my life be forever impacted if i just read the newspaper and pick the articles i want to read instead of just letting the endless stream of “truth” wash over me from the noisy, moving picture box in our living room? i hope not. i won’t forget where the continents are or who the president is, and if i do forget, someone will tell me, right?

my reality…is you two. bath time. singing too loud in the car. watching you and daddy play and run in the back yard. cook outs with friends. sprinklers and sand boxes. boo boos that can be fixed with a kiss, an ice pack, and a cartoon band-aid.

all my love darlings,

mommy.

p.s. daily mantra: reality leaves a lot to the imagination….{john.lennon}