Daily Mantra: “The time you think you’re missing, misses you too.”
{yumber.delecto}
I haven’t really slept since 2003.
REALLY SLEPT; the kind of sleep that is deep because you know that it’s okay if you don’t wake up until noon…your mom will take the dog out, your dad will make your brother take out the trash, and you have until Sunday night at 9pm to start all of your homework due for Monday. The kind of sleep that leaves you sprawled contently on your bed, face down in the pillow in your dorm room after a ridiculously fun night doing something you can’t even remember. And even when you did grow up {finally realizing that partying wasn’t all that fun anymore because you missed all your ‘shows’ on Thursday night if you stayed out too late} and got a real job, a real apartment, with real bills and stuff…you still had Saturdays and Sundays to leisurely sleep in…blissfully dreaming, knowing all you had to do was get to the grocery store at some point in the next couple days, and visit your mom (who is pretty darn sure you are avoiding her now that you have your own washer and dryer).
I haven’t really slept since I gave birth to Mikayla on a snowy April day back in 2003. You never sleep the same after you have children. Even when you finally {and I do mean finally} get them to sleep through the night, you always REALLY have one ear propped up…ready to jump out of half-asleepness. “Did you hear that?” you will say to your husband as you smack him on the arm to get his attention; he OBVIOUSLY didn’t…he is still snoring away obnoxiously as you sit there in the dark, wide awake…because you thought you might have heard a little whimper in the next room. Its as if, along with the stretchmarks, you also have been in-trusted with a super sonic child crying/puking/sniffling sensor device that will never again let you sleep the deep sleep of your pre-baby existence.
So as I sit…listing to Katie on the baby monitor, her deep breathes only emulating her truly divine slumber…I am most assuredly jealous that I will never again get to experience such a pure rest. Then I see her sweet picture on my desk…and know that her and Mikki are worth every sleepless night spent in a rocking chair, and every alert-ready doze that I will ever have for the rest of my life.
by amanda.b.
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