Daily Mantra: “Tell me who you love, and I’ll tell you who you are.”
{creole.proverb}
Do you remember Ally McBeal? Honestly, I still find daily reasons to relate this show back to my everyday life. I know I am a dork, but bear with me, because I think this does actually lead somewhere.
My best friend, Amy and I used to get together every Wednesday night, eat homemade macaroni and cheese, and watch Ally McBeal. It was a ritual and rarely missed. Everyone was into Friends at the time, sure, but people rarely ‘got’ Ally McBeal. One thing I learned from this show was that, even when you grow up, you still have moments of uncertainty, indecisiveness, or just downright adolescent like feelings that might make you {or anyone that has to deal with you} a bit crazy. The next important tidbit of advice that I drew from Ally was to have a THEME SONG. John Cage, played by Peter MacNicoli, developed the brilliant idea of playing a theme song in his head whenever he was facing a challenge that he felt, in his heart, he could not do. The song gave him confidence, strength, perseverance, and Nell Porter {played by Porti de Rossi}. John’s song was by Barry White, but all the cast members had a song of their own.
I thought as I got older, I wouldn’t need my theme song as often. However, as it turns out, I have needed it more. As a business owner, wife, mother, student, and daughter, there are just bound to be at least some moments of complete chaos, and uncertainty. When I start thinking that I cannot possibly referee another fight between the girls, I pull out my Theme Song. What is my Theme Song? Well It changes. . . right now Its Christina’s “Keeps Gettin Better”. I think my first Theme Song was by Meredith Brooks {yeah…you can guess the song}. I really like playing my songs when I am walking down the street, even though I might not need it at that time, I do think it gives me a bit more spring in my step, you know?
I really thought that being an adult meant that I would know myself more and feel more confident about who I am. In fact, I am pretty sure my high school guidance counselor said that to me one day in her office when she was trying to help me find out what I wanted to do with my life past age 18. While I have gained knowledge and self assurance along the way, I am still waiting for that day when I feel completely at peace with the choices I make. Maybe that won’t be any time soon…until then, I have my song.
Now that you guys think I am all nuts, I feel so much closer to you.
by amanda.b.
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